Beware the Tides of the War Cow

So, Down‘s Beneath the Tides came up on shuffle this morning and it sent me down a whirlpool of nostalgia. The song/album isn’t that old – it was released in 2007 – but it’s a misheard lyric that did me in.

Real lyric:

Beneath the tides of the washout

Misheard lyric:

Beware the tides of the War Cow

Now, most anybody unfortunate to still be reading will think “Huh? What the shit is a War Cow?

Well, let me put down my cane, children, and tell you a tale. The year was 1999, or perhaps it was 2000. Either way, I was living in the former LSU Medical Center Kidney Dialysis building with a handful of friends and co-workers. Yes, there was still a dialysis machine there when we moved in. No nobody got drunk and did things with it. I don’t think.

Yes, you read that right. 2000 Tulane, across the street more or less from Rosenberg’s (and if you grew up in NOLA, their jingle is now stuck in your head. I’m not sorry).

2000 TulaneI was working for Tech Company Who Shall Not Be Named™ and the pay wasn’t great, but the room/board was free and I did teach myself a lot. Also? I played a shit ton of Unreal Tournament with the fellas. We had a coffeeshop on the first floor, Taco Bell down the street, and much of an empty floor that we could take over and do proper LAN Parties.


Nali War CowWhich brings us back to origin of this post. The War Cow. The Nali War Cow was a playable race in Unreal Tournament. It was far from my favorite to play, as it was better suited for melee combat, where I preferred to snipe. I did love playing against them though, as they made a decent target and I think they might’ve made a sort of mooing sound when you killed one. We would stay up ’till dawn, downing Mountain Dew and cappuccinos, eating crappy burritos, fragging, cursing, and listening to thrash metal.

It was wonderful. I still play some non co-op FPS with friends over XBox Live, but there really is something about trying to kill someone in-game, and physically pushing them IRL, hoping it messes them up so you can get an advantage and get the shot. That physical proximity is something I really enjoy about our ongoing D&D campaigns.

Also, enjoy one of the more played albums during those sessions – the first album by The Haunted:

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