Yo Momma’s so fugly Voldemort won’t speak her name

So, despite having picked up a horrid summer cold, I am still determined to go to the 12:01AM showing of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince tonight.

In honor of that, twitter had a “yo mama” style contest, and here are the honorable mentions in all their wizardly glory:

JanetVarney: Yo momma so fat the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses
chris8675309: Your momma so fat, she looked in the mirror of Erised and saw a ham
PeterVRules: Your momma’s so old she gave Nicholas Flamel his first handjob
chris8675309: Yo mamma so nasty, the order of the phoenix was “stay away from that bitch”
chris8675309: Yo mamma so stupid, she thinks Sirius Black is the soul station on satellite radio
sarazafar: Yo mama so fat she tried to eat Cornelius Fudge
dino_rider: Yo mama’s so ugly the Dementor’s Kiss was swapped out for a hearty handshake and a promise to give her a call sometime.
reppocs: Yo momma so black, she’d probably get sorted in to Ravenclaw and would be a minor character at best
bradheintz: Yo mama so nasty, Dobby wouldn’t take her sock
Burnaway: Yo momma so skanky, even her patronus got knocked up
chompychomp: Yo mama so stupid, she drowned in a pensieve
Dick_M: yo momma so dumb she thought that she could talk to snakes if she put parsley on her tongue
dtejano: Yo mama’s so masculine, she makes Dumbledore go, “DAAAYYYUMM!”
habcous: yo mamma so nasty, every pair of her panties has the Dark Mark
HakSolo: your mom is so fat if she confronted a boggart it would morph into a treadmill
finnigan37: Your mama’s so nasty she got naked and turned @The_Real_Shaq into @The_Shrieking_Shack
dantelfer: Yo mamma so fat, she has to enchant her panties into a portkey to get out of a chair
dantelfer: Yo mamma’s cooch is so nasty it has its own house elf
dirk_funk: Yo mama so fat it takes two boggarts to shape-shift into her
Kingdaddy1773: Your family is so poor you have to bus in from Narnia every morning
MarioEGarcia: yo mama so poor she went to Honeydukes and put a chocolate frog on layaway
melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat she got stuck in the Floo Network
melgotserved: Yo momma’s so fat her wand is a Slim Jim
MikeDrucker: Yo’ Momma so fat she joined the Death Eaters ’cause she was hungry
MikeDrucker: After she’s done being skanky, yo’ momma hides her tramp stamp by saying “Mischief Managed”
MsJG: Yo Momma’s so fugly that even Voldemort won’t speak her name
nicofopolous: Yo Momma’s so muggles she gave my hog warts
nthornton: Your momma’s ass is so saggy, she’s being sued for copyright infringement by Neville Longbottom
paulscheer: Yo Mamma is so fat that even the Dementors can’t suck out her soul in one sitting
phirm: Mama so nasty, everybody call her “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked”
phirm: Yo mama so fat you couldn’t find her pu**y with the Room of Requirement
PinheadX: Yo mamma coochie so hairy it look like she ridin’ a Nimbus 2000 backwards
TheonetrueCams: your mum’s P#$$y is like the Slytherin common room, it smells foul and its always full of snakes
TheonetrueCams: Yo Mum is just like a Dementor, always looking for some “Serious” Black
Taborifica: Yo momma so fat even her Quidditch robes have stretch marks
randbot: yo mama so fat, when your parents have sex yo daddy gotta cast “accio vagina”


  1. ROFL. those are all so good – i can’t even pick a favorite!

    how ’bout

    Yo mama’s teeth so yellow, she spits butterbeer.

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