Julius: The Green Bondage Monkey

I recently did some laptop repair for an employee of Bicycle Michael’s, and in return, he worked on track bike. Working on my bikes is something I rarely feel like doing these days, and those wheels were in need of a truing.

Well, Jon did some great work – even went so far as to install a new chain and replace my handlebar tape.

Unfortunately, a resident prankster (let’s call him Centurian™ to protect the less-than-innocent) was caught while in the process of, uh, “accessorizing” Molly (the bike).

This bike has two “Guardian Angels” let’s call them. The most prominent is a green monkey that came with my most-awesome green tuxedo jacket (it has green velvet lapels!) named Julius. Julius has been affixed to this bike for a few years now, and it’s a wonder he has yet to be defaced or kidnapped.

Until now, that is.

Apparently Centurian™ (say that as Michael Palin in Life of Brian as you can) has a tendency to bring out people’s inner gimp:

Julius: The Green Bondage Monkey

 
He came back gagged, covered in electrical tape, and a 9v battery hooked up to his nipples.

Sadness. Perhaps I shall stwike the centuwian. Stwike him vewy woughwy. And fwow him to the gwound.

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