Prosthetically Hip

Creepin’ up to the highschool like a chester…

June 2, 2011 11:03am

My friend Neil (@ntraft) currently has his instant messenger status as:

“Dude, this van is like rolling probable cause.”

I sent that along to the other bearded computer/bicycle/D&D nerd Will™* who actually has what would easily pass for a child molester van, and his response was equally good:

“ha maybe one day i’ll paint it a less rapey color”

I just wondering what colors are “asking for it” more, and what are less?

This is also coming from the guy who has a pedobear sticker hidden somewhere in the aforementioned van (it used to be in the window).

*Yes, there are two of us. We even used to work together at the same dot com.

+1 Pencil of Writing

March 14, 2011 1:55pm

“I don’t go to Metairie unless I really have to.”
Ballzack, Rainbow in Marrero

This Saturday, while doing my once-every-couple-of-months run to Metairie, I passed by the newly-opened +1 Gaming and decided to pop my head in.

They’ve recently opened, so stock is a little on the low side I think. It seems to cater mostly to Warhammer and similar games, but still, a gaming store is a gaming store. They also have a whole bunch of tables for games – it appears that you can just show up with your stuff and play with friends. Pretty neat.

I decided to pick up my own “copy” of the card game Bang!, a really fun, easy, spaghetti-western style card game. Dave and Belen bring it with them on their travels, and we have fun playing it – probably mostly due to everyone always saying “It’s my turn? Ok, I want to drink a beer and then bang Belen.”

When checking out, I was asked if I was a “hero”. There were too many awesome responses that my neurons misfired, and I lamely replied “Huh?” They’ve developed a customer loyalty type program – being a hero gets you a discount, and when you make a purchase, you roll 2d10 (i.e. random number from 1-100) and based on the outcome, you get something for free.

I rolled a 1. As a joke, I think they should have an anti-prize for rolling a 1 – like getting slapped in the face with a fish or reduced discount for the purchase or something.

But, a 1 still won me something: either a bag of chips or a pencil. I went with the infinitely more useful pencil, and will use it at our D&D game tomorrow.

As he was describing to me the program though, it sounded kinda familiar, but couldn’t quite place from where. I knew it was a webcomic, but as hard as I tried, I just couldn’t make the connection. Luckily, I voiced this recollection to him. He told me I was right, and it was a Ctrl+Alt+Del comic (this one, specifically). They’d been inspired by it, sat down and did the math, and realized that it was actually pretty viable.

I think that involving a game into the buying process is fun. A group of us will head over there for a field trip soon, and perhaps sit down and run through a quick game of Castle Ravenloft or two.

Hooray, nerds.

Goblins? In my Necropolis? It’s more likely than you think.

July 20, 2010 10:34pm

Today was every other Tuesday, so you know what that means: D&D!

We we on a skeleton krewe today – just Paul as the DM, Chris/Grak, Allen/Marduk, and me/Oran. We had to supplement our group with Clarence, our NPC (Non-Playable Character) friend. Despite missing two of our company, we decided to do a dungeon crawl anyways.

We almost got our asses handed to us, but ended up prevailing so far – and this dungeon looks huge. We’ll probably play the same dungeon for a few sessions. In addition to the gold and XP we gained, Allen/Marduk ended up with a goblin hand for souvenir and I got the cloak of Balgrond (sp?) The Fat, chieftain of the dungeon.

Allen and I are definitely getting better at combat and keeping things flowing.

Here’s the map of the city, I unfortunately didn’t get a shot of the total clusterfuck of a room where each one of us had goblins on at least 2 sides of them, some of us 3 or 4 at a given time.

 
It also looks like we’ll be back at my house next session, which I’m happy about. Nothing like having people over to get you to clean, amiright? We currently have 4 guys who live in a few block radius of each other on Algiers Point, but it seems that everyone can make it to my house from work much quicker, so we get started sooner. I also have two full-size tables we can join, so the space fits the group a bit better.

And since it looks like we’ll be adding a much needed cleric to the group, we’ll need the extra space…

We all float down here

July 6, 2010 11:34pm

Tonight was the Tuesday out of “every other Tuesday” for D&D night, and before I continue I just want to again stress how much fun I am not only having by playing the game, but at making fun of myself for it as well.

Last night took us into the sewers to find a significant amount of loot hidden by a friend (a bugbear named Clarence) – loot needed to clear a debt with one bad mother(shut your mouth!). So far, our adventures have been above-ground and concentrating on finding Clarence.

Considering this was my first real dungeon, I was pretty excited. Our actual combat went a lot smoother than the previous session. Being new to the game, we took too much time the other week not only deciding tactics but deciding what attack to use, etc. Where we only had time for one combat sequence the other week, we did 3 this week. We’re quickly improving, but there is still plenty of room to get better.

Despite the swarms of ROUSes (Rodents Of Unusual Size), we had a lot of fun in the sewer and almost got our asses handed to us in a room by 4 zombified Royal Guards and 6 kobolds (those little knee-stabbing bastards). It would have been just the 4 guards, but Will had to get all Indiana Jones on a jewelly statue type thing in a nearby room, lowering a wall and letting in the 6 kobolds with crossbows. Will’s character isn’t so much stupid as mischievous, and I welcome it. That ass-whoopin’ hurt, but we made it and really enjoying the encounter despite our seeming inability to hit out target most of the time. Plus, most of us got enough XP to level up! Time to rework my character sheet.

I think I’m getting a much better handle of the game already, and can’t thank Paul enough for being patient and running this game for us.

And at least there weren’t any grues in the sewer – I had my lantern lit the whole time so we’d have been fine anyways. Getting eaten by a grue would definitely not been awesome.

MC Frontalot – It Is Pitch Dark:

Kudos to you who got the Stephen King’s IT reference in the title.

Lastly, I know this is technically going up on Wednesday the 7^th, but I was obviously busy all night and my crap-ass web host was down when I got home. I can backdate posts, so I’m going to. That is all.

I’ve Created a Monster

June 9, 2010 8:37pm

Well, I haven’t created so much of a monster, as I have a 1^st level Brawny Rogue.

Last night was the first time I’ve ever played Dungeons and Dragons, and as we wrapped up to head to our respective homes, I found myself wishing that I’d done this years decades ago.

Basically, I blame Whil Wheaton (yes the ‘h’ in ‘Wil’ is on purpose) and Mike and Jerry from Penny Arcade. Both Wil and Jerry are old hat at D&D, but Mike is brand new. I’ve both read about and heard from Wil about how awesome the game is, and with Mike a quick convert, it really began to eat at me.

These guys are geek icons. I feel I identify with them on various levels, and I find them immensely smart and talented. I felt as though I’d really been missing out.

So, I talked to an old friend and ex-coworker, Paul. Paul and I worked together at directnic.com from early ’02 to mid ’05 (his tenure was /much/ longer), and he and I became good friends – one of the handful of people I’ve kept in touch with regularly since my departure. Anyways, Paul’s been more or less playing this fell game for as long as I’ve been alive. I’m 30.

I’m just going to let that set in.

…

After talking for Paul about my interest in getting a game together, we figured that after the wedding (which he was a groomsman in) we’d talk a bit more seriously about actually doing it. I’d also talked to Allen about it, and he was definitely interested. Well, Paul talked to my old boss Chris, and also to his old roommate Will who also worked with us at directnic.com and I see all the time. Well, Will talked to our friend Lando, and before we knew it, we had a group.

We met up once at the best bar on the Westbank (where most of this group lives) to really get things going, and got together the following week for character building and basics on game mechanics. Allen and I couldn’t make it for various reasons, unfortunately.

But last night. Ohhhh, last night. We were all able to meet up, and let me tell you, I picked it up pretty quickly and really had a blast. The only downside is that I wish we’d had more time to play, and that I didn’t have to wait to weeks to play again (to make things easy, we’re playing every other Tuesday).

At Paul’s suggestion, I built my character off of a character I was already familiar with: Batman. He’s a brawny rogue, and fun and easy to play.

I even had the wife alter an image (she removed the mask) of some Batman-in-the-Old-West fanart:

Chris created a warlock, Allen created a tiefling (humans with demonic ancestry) based on Hellboy, other Will created a cow-farmer-turned-fighter named Philadelphia Collins, and Lando created a character named Pablo the Escobarbarian. Need I say more?

Well, I’m hooked. Thank you Wil, Mike, Jerry, Paul, and Chris for helping me to find a missing piece that I didn’t even realize was missing.

And thanks to my wife, Bea, for putting up with my overwhelming and ever-expanding nerdery and geekery – which is exactly how it should be (both the putting up with and the expanding *.ery).