Prosthetically Hip

Hey there, Fancy Pants

April 28, 2009

A bit ago, I received word that Todd‘s awesome and affordable Hong Kong Tailor™ would be making his way on his U.S. Tour, and would be adding New Orleans to his list of destinations.

I figured why not, and dropped him a visit when he came though – a scant 28 days ago! After all, my black suit jacket didn’t quite match the pants, my blue dress shirt has a hole, and my white dress shirt has a weird thing happening with the collar. I was also very interested in obtaining an overcoat, as I had just been in Chicago in February for a funeral, and ’bout damn near froze my ass off.

Getting shirts, and especially jackets that fit me is a bit of a pain in the ass. I invariably have to get my jackets adjusted because shoulders are proportionally much wider than my waist.

Well, I just tried everything on (the overcoat has not yet arrived), and the fit is just great. I’m a happy customer.

Bea’s female co-worker Christy says I need a haircut, and her male co-worker Evan says I need to grow it out. I like Evan, but Christy’s probably right.

Click to embiggen:

 

 

 

 

The gayest thing I’ve ever put in my mouth

April 27, 2009

This past Friday, Bea and I laced up our skates and headed over to Airline Skate Center, for her Dad’s birthday party.

I haven’t laced up my skates since the last roller derby bout I reffed since I retired (they were in a bind, so I helped on one bout), which was in late May or early June last year. My legs felt good (both while skating and I had zero soreness the next day), and I only fell once, due to just not skating in a long time.

To digress a bit further, Bea practically grew up in a skating rink. Her folks skated a whole lot (I think that’s how they met), and while her mom no longer skates, her dad certainly does. His daughter from his second marriage, now 4, is a natural. I guess it’s in the blood. Now let’s see if her little half-sister will grow up to be a rollergirl, just like sister.

So, the birthday party was at the skating ring, and it was fun. I’m not even going to touch on the odd cross-section of people who hang out at a skating rink on a Friday night, but will instead address the title of this post. Bea baked her dad a cake, and it was light, fluffy, and delicious. And gay. Very, very gay. Behold:

 
I feel that unicorn candles or something would have been a perfect touch. And while unicorns are pretty cool, I think we can all agree that polycorns are far, far superior.

So there you go. That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever consumed, and it was scrumptious.

Done is the Engine of More.

April 22, 2009

A while ago, I was introduced to the Cult of Done. For me, it is quite simple, quite obvious, and I identify with it on a number of levels.

In the spirit of the manifesto set forth and in combination with a generally needed re-ordering of my day-to-day schedule and goals, I’ve figured out a calendar, or should I say guideline, to help me get the things done I want to get done.

This mostly means setting aside time for working on the house, and light yoga/exercise – something I wanted to more of this year, but have since lapsed.

I run (er, hash) ~5-6 miles every Thursday night, and bike pretty much everywhere, but need to do just a little more. And the housework I want done can be attacked in hour or sub-hour increments, and will probably be done faster in this manner than I had be doing before.

To help kick my ass, here is my rough daytime schedule for the work week (click to embiggen):

 
I start on Monday. Let’s see how things go.

Saints ’09 / Drew Brees > Olympic Archer

April 15, 2009

The Saints have released their 2009 Schedule, and I am super excited. We have our season opener at home, 3 night games of which all are at home and one is on a Monday against those Dirty Birds, the Falcons.

For me, the best omen/sign I see is that finally, there is no game at Chicago in December. Finally.

I called a 12-4 Season for ’09 at the end of ’08. Let’s see how far we can go. Up next: the draft.

While we wait for that, here’s an amazing video of Drew Brees and how incredibly accurate he is:

Who Dat!

Choose the Form of the Destructor

April 9, 2009

For those of you who live in areas that are not densely populated with Oak Trees, aloow me to introduce to you an insect so vile, so heinous, so abhorred, that it is universally referred to as the Scourge of the South*. In more common terms, it is the Buck Moth Caterpillar.

These caterpillars arrive in the spring, in hordes. They amass in Oak trees, and like locusts, proceed to eat as much of the trees leaves as possible. Ecological damage aside, they hurt like hell and keep everyone on their toes.

I’m lucky now – there are really very few Oak trees in the Marigny and French Quarter – quite the opposite of the neighborhood I grew up in – the Garden District. Oak trees line uptown – in certain points, if one were so determined they could traverse an entire city block solely on Oaks.

I remember as a child, walking to school with an umbrella with nary a clod in the sky – it was getting wet that I feared – it was falling caterpillars. Usually, you’ll see one drop here and there. But once in a while, you’ll see a large cluster fall to the ground and disperse. When I was ten, I was playing in the back yard without shoes – an unthinkably stupid act for this time of year – and I stepped on one of the monsters, crushing it with the arch of my foot.

I have never felt such intense, long-lasting pain.

These days, the Buck Moth caterpillar population is still uncomfortable large, but much much smaller than it was even 15 – 20 years ago, and I consider myself lucky to not live in a neighborhood infested with them. There is, however, an Oak that hangs over in to my backyard – just enough to bring the caterpillars in. My neighbor is in her eighties or nineties, and her back yard where the Oak is rooted lies in a constant state of neglect.

I called a company, Payne Exterminating, and set up an appointment to have them spray the tree Tuesday morning, for a mere $75. I can’t wait. While there is still much work to be done in the backyard, I don’t have to worry about the dog sniffing/playing/rolling with these spiked harbingers of pain. Plus, the tree will be much healthier for it.

 
 
*In this case, “universally” means “just me”.